Personality Unawareness Can Cause Discord in the Home
Do you know your personality type? Color? Enneagram Temperament?
If not, you’re missing out.
Being ignorant to your many personality facets makes you a less effective mother & a less joyful woman.
That seems dramatic, right?
It's not.
Personality is far more important to your success than you’ve been led to believe.
The Many Ways We’re Taught to Neglect Personality
In childhood, we're taught that we can be/do anything.
In school, we were taught to get straight A's, not rock the boat and obey authority.
In adulthood, we're encouraged to dedicate our lives to seeking opportunities that'll increase our odds of making the most money possible (for as long as possible).
Nowhere on the list of priorities is self-discovery, soul-searching or maximizing our unique strengths (cuz society values hive-mind!).
Sure, you may have taken a personality test here or there...
...maybe you were taught to develop a certain passion...
...you could have even been led to follow your interests...
Unfortunately, the focus on the personality/passion/interest accounts for only a very small fraction of time, especially when you compare it to the status quo subjects of focus (admin abilities, math, literature, etc.)
The lack of focus on individuality makes us all boring, ineffective, out of touch and depressed.
Believe me, you've got loads more to learn about yourself, woman!
How Personality Typing Specifically Applies to Stay-at-Home Motherhood
Personality is one of the most neglected, yet impactful, schools of knowledge in the 'education system'. It just teaches you how to understand how you're wired, how your life experiences has made you who you are, why you're prone to certain tendencies, why you chose your particular life partner, why you get along w/ some people more than others, your natural strengths, challenges and aspirations, your orientation towards socializing for most or least of the time...
Ya know, not much…
Chances are, you didn't learn too much about personality, human psychology, temperament, energetic preferences, behavioral sciences in grade school (that is, unless your degree specializes in them.)
Personality is simply overlooked. We're told to be whatever/whoever we want to be, that we can do anything we put our minds to and that 'anything you can do, I can do better'.
These are lies.
The bitter truth is that every person is an individual w/ inherent strengths and weaknesses based on biology, upbringing and other elements of God's will.
If we're never taught to focus on developing those strengths and limiting the negative outcomes of the weaknesses/challenges, we can never be truly empowered.
If you don't know yourself thoroughly, if you've never searched your soul or challenged yourself greatly to see what you're made of or what you can specifically contribute, well then you're living life at a loss and at the mercy of literally anyone that has more power than you.
You can see how the lack-of-focus on unique personality development applies to everyone, but especially stay-at-home-moms.
It’s ludicrous to try and run your home + family w/ the same mindset and tools which allowed you to excel in school or work...these are tools and a mentality that doesn't translate well to the unpredictable world of staying home.
(Who else crashed and burned when they first became a mom, due to this mindset?! 💁🏻♀️)
The truth is: you actually NEED your unique personality to parent effectively, sustainably and happily. God formulated your personality especially for parenting the kids that God entrusted you with. Ignoring your personality and not honoring it greatly hinders you as a mother. (Could this be why it's been nails-on-chalkboard the last few weeks?!)
Comparison of School/Work Mentality Vs. Stay-at-Home Mom Mentality
Let me further prove my case to you...let's do a little comparison (for fun!) 🤪
In school + work, you were taught to focus on/value:
measurable achievements: test scores, placement in sports, # of things you did 'right' (constant pursuit of tangible outcomes & recognition for it)
strict, predictable schedule adherence that repeats every 24 hours or 7 days (masculine, linear time frames)
rigid social expectations of behavior (conformity)
belief that authorities know best (compliance)
This whole staying home w/ kids thing had felt rather foreign to you, because of that training we just talked about.
In Stay-at-Home Motherhood, you focus on:
good faith deposits, in the hopes that something you cannot completely control, will turn out okay (pursuit of the unknown/unseen + faith)
consistency in the presence of chaos and resistance (self-discipline w/ only yourself as accountability, encouragement and recognition)
seasons of life instead of day-by-day or week-by-week (weeks of sickness, followed by weeks of slowing down, followed by weeks of busy plans, followed by weeks of being low-key)
flexibility to do what you need to when you can do it--regardless of what anyone around you thinks and creative problem-solving (you never know what kid you're getting, what their personality/needs will be or how you 2 will mesh)
complex psychological and emotional maintenance of yourself and the family!
Going w/ the flow out of necessity. The developmental phases each kid is in changes rapidly and unexpectedly. It also feels better to surrender to that which you have little to no control of.
the belief that you are your child's expert and the expert of the home
regularly clearing space in your brain, heart and home so that you have the space to hold for developing humans that need it.
If you're thinking, 'yikes! we really do have so many more responsibilities and demands and yet, we're not set up to thrive'...
You're not alone AND this isn't the end of the road--far from it... Stick w/ me cuz we're gonna flip everything on its head. Sovereign Matriarchs absolutely REFUSE to settle.
The fact remains: for passionate stay-at-home moms, the expectations increase significantly, the challenges ramp up drastically and the resources and supports all but fall away...
Conventional Parenting Methods Fail Us
Conventional parenting, the education system and social norms frequently go against your instincts and the best interests of your family.
Take for example the encouragement of the mom to work outside the home and give her kids to daycare to raise, or the stay-at-home martyr prototype that you’re expected to follow, or even the expectation that we keep our kids ‘in line’ at all times in public...
The approach that previous generations used and the conventional ‘wisdom’ simply isn’t good enough.
(What we actually need is a revolution! Click here for more on that…)
The best news ever: you don't have to be a victim of this. You can choose to change this—DRAMATICALLY—right now. At any given time, you have the power to choose differently.
You may not know all the exact steps, where to start or what to do next...
...but that's why I started Motherhood Empowerment, sis! I literally get on my computer every day because I'm incredibly passionate about YOU NOT SETTLING/SUFFERING.
The Ripple Effect of Dedicated Motherhood is Comparable to Nothing Else a Woman Could Ever Do
Staying home is the most important thing you'll ever do: for your kids, your family, your community, God and YOURSELF.
What's more is that the biggest blessings aren't bestowed on your kids or your family...contrary to popular opinion, you are the one that will benefit the most from staying home (and not just because you feel good about serving people, either...I'm talking self-actualization/enlightenment levels reached here!)
But… it isn't easy to just flip a switch and suddenly be deconditioned from all of your years in training, school, work, society...
I know how difficult it is. I've made it my life's mission to never settle for less than what I'VE decided is right for me, my kids, my family, my home and my community.
It doesn't matter what I was raised with--if it doesn't work for me, I toss it out. This is the only way to achieve a fulfilled, happy and functional stay-at-home motherhood career that's actually sustainable & harmonious!
You've Got to Build Your Support System From the Inside Out
This is where self-knowledge comes into play. Knowing the many aspects of your unique combination of characteristics is crucial to creating the unique, dreamy at-home family life that you envision.
You see, only you can envision what's best for your family. There is no one-size-fits all (although there are some principles and techniques that do work for all of us).
We all need each other, but you need you more.
And you can’t have your own back, if you aren't clear about: who you are, why you do the things you do, your weaknesses, & deep-seated fears.
